If there is no love in the world, we will make a new world, and we will give it walls, and we will furnish it with soft, red interiors, from the inside out, and give it a knocker that resonates like a diamond falling to a jeweller’s felt so that we should never hear it. Love me, because love doesn’t exist, and I have tried everything that does.
Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated
Allow a gentler pace to lull you back to the window, where a breeze delights the long-slept senses. Abolished instinct hums to life and Nature again kindles your enthusiasm for the healthier days ahead.
Ah…… How have we let do much time go by without a hug? Tell me about your life xxx
I have a beautiful view of the sunrise over Bondi’s ocean every morning. It helps quiet the mind and get’s my day started right. I jump on one of the 3 motorcycles that I own now and head to work early where usually I stay all day. I love my work, it’s extremely hard and extremely rewarding. It buries me most days, with sheer and responsibility. But it brings out the best in me. I’m helping other people and that is helping me. People rely on me now, and it is a heavy weight but I’ve never had so much strength and sense of purpose. It doesn’t feel like work as much as duty, though I’m trying as ever to balance the work/life thing. I feel like I have everything that I need, so I’m also finally warming to the idea that I should at least try to find a wife and settle down to a quieter life, with a family and all those things, and share something of something. I do struggle to picture it happening, but I admit to myself that it might be nice. I have wonderful friends who I don’t see nearly as much as I should. In the end I’m just really grateful these days, for the life that I’ve been given, and what I’ve built with it and I like the direction it’s going, and I’m taking more and more ownership of that direction and my choices as I go on ahead. I think I like the man I’m becoming. Always though, when I finally take a breather and step aside of all the rushing and busyness I find myself thinking of all the wonderful people who I miss so dearly and you always come to mind, peering over the hill like a beam of morning sunlight. You are one of my favouritest people on this Earth and I miss you.
You’re like me… Escaping restraint to the mountains. The madness withdraws here, only peace succeeds.
I was delightfully careless, in this period. Acutely aware of an increase widening near and happy to let my evolution towards its full blanket and assuming occur. I let things lie as howsoever presented, and whatever purpose lie in the kernel had I no regard to discover. Perhaps for reasons wise in retrospect, had I little cause for restlessness here… fewer distractions at least.
Work was fine enough in fact, at times sociably enjoyable and about all the clockwork and responsibleness suited me at this junction of my maturation.
‘I am aimless here,’ I recalled. Calmly, obliviously neutral. Undisturbed by past events and without interpretation of, much less anxiety for what tomorrow offer may. I sleep without plan and wake when I wake, with time plenty for long breakfasts and good books, and I’ve a training schedule down to a finely tuned regularity. There is money saved for whim departures, am furiously independent and present for anyone at any time because though it is still rather early and we are young, but these too shall expire. And so I can float from that work and any place, out into the dark and back upon the path to happening upon what it is that I am truly here for if any. You don’t realise that just like a golden Angel at full strength can you actually fly from any place or situation and survive. Not just live, but breathe free and unstaggered, abolished of all worldly restraints. You don’t realise this natural magic possessed until, passed of some clash in the chest and an elaborate reasoning you’ve developed that had suddenly convinced you’re soul it had not the strength to start over again, that many times you simply choose not to.
And by a final initiation of a decided Celestial re-ordering of my life, the very moment I began to investigate these uncharted avenues of thought regarding the wider patterns and cross-sections of what were beginning to weave the outcome of my purpose and final effect in this world, it seemed that suddenly a consistent and consecutive emergence of subtle interventions were engaged, and something quite unimaginable and well-planned had been set in motion. There I was, struck, and urged to take my first step down a corridor of the consciousness that had peeled open out of thin air, or might have been present all the while that had I ready been deemed, might have earlier been sought. Staring vacantly into the ocean of diners that fateful Friday night when through this perplexing and sedative confusion of realities, I heard my name being called..
It began as an echo and ascended upon the reveries womb until I was sprung loose of my blissful spell as one is slowly and regretfully expelled from a dream. I turned my attentions with seemingly a vague expectation of a harmony, towards a familiar tone and warmth – as one turns to a lover in silence. That is when I saw Sally approaching. I felt myself at once begin to sink into a peaceful relief I had not for a very long time felt, as does one at the first glimpse of sunbeam after the night. I saw in Sally’s surprise, what may have accrued about every bit of excitement as she were capable of experiencing and nothing subdued.
My themes shall not be far-fetched. I will tell of homely every-day phenomena and adventures. Friends! Society! It seems to be that I have an abundance of it, there is so much that I rejoice and sympathize with, and men, too, that I never speak to but only know and think of. What you call bareness and poverty is to me simplicity. God could not be unkind to me if he should try. I love the winter, with its imprisonment and its cold, for it compels the prisoner to try new fields and resources. I love to have the river closed up for a season and a pause put to my boating, to be obliged to get my boat in. I shall launch it again in the spring with so much more pleasure. This is an advantage in point of abstinence and moderation compared with the seaside boating, where the boat ever lies on the shore. I love best to have each thing in its season only, and enjoy doing without it at all other times. It is the greatest of all advantages to enjoy no advantage at all. I find it invariably true, the poorer I am, the richer I am. What you consider my disadvantage, I consider my advantage. While you are pleased to get knowledge and culture in many ways, I am delighted to think that I am getting rid of them. I have never got over my surprise that I should have been born into the most estimable place in all the world, and in the very nick of time, too.
The Journal of Henry David Thoreau, 05-Dec-1856