Danny James

Tag: change

281

O daybreak, that I am ever with fresh gladness seen, and not honoured to evenings conviction, that today I do not mean.

Coogee, 2012

Coogee, 2012

268: All colours soon fade

The morning begins in a blaze of luminous peach and hot pink swirls like a pooling rain of lava to fall; the light at the edge of the world and there’s not a violence in the air. No fire in the sky or gaping hell unloosed, it’s far too still, too beautiful for it, but a blinding promise of a paradise already here perhaps. And sitting over this vivid glow of reaching holiness, is a guide of perfect puffs of white cloud, arranged in a homeward going it seems, dispersed like stepping-stones of cotton for the angels trailing to a golden trapdoor haven in the sky. It peels open slowly, like a wise and ancient eye knowing all and well as it slips from the darkness milk of a century-long slumber, upon what futile routine will its look rest. This human fumbling, short-lived evaporating everlast of unbearable wonder. Peering over the sizzling lip with a brilliance unheard, our saviour orb of blood orange is roaring to ascendency, where it will sit with explosive resplendence, the very centre and light of things all and not a sound. O relief, ye smiling humble high sun, beacon to the weary confused, nothing is dispossessed of your gentle touch across the Earth, but greeting cheerfully all tears and dew and drying the surface of lack and lament like a mother’s hand. How daily new and utterly heart bewildering. There is nothing, sets right or overcomes me quite. Another chance for a fool.

And less nowadays, in these fine moments that might have been shared, comes strolling thee into my reveries mead… then does. As though within the very nature of the occasions sudden vacancy of memory embedded is a deeper and more adamant remembrance in wait. Instants, bright and fulfilling, riotous with life urge me to enquire what shade and resignation prefers. The contrast emphasis. And we cannot just go along easily, but puncture directly to the heart or hold our own from a safe screaming distance. Telling it is when I cannot sever so quickly the cords of an attachment anymore. Good soul, who found a reason to stay in the first, and last place; none so can ever leave without a trace.
‘Anyway, don’t get too caught up in it now like always, aching over the intricacies of lapping little shore breaks on the beach, or the Coasts Winter mantle of mist and whitewash and what distant winds have hither inspired them. Like a flag in the Summer sea breeze flailing tirelessly resisting the flagpole oppression it needs. Welling tears at melodies that demonstrate your gentler parts, and returning always to the same hard stoic stare of modesty and recovered order, the state from which you will again stray and which you hold most dear.’ Practice, practice, practice. It’s a rehearsal anyway, for the big last dance at midnight and it’s been the eleventh hour for almost a lifetime now. ‘Your mind you can change, and do and will, but the sky not. It is not for you but simply is. The birds, happy enough do they sail on, and you should go with their philosophy awhile, for clear days or not know there are many days, many colours and all colours soon fade.’

267

They would not see him now, who knew me yesterday.

266

A firm bank hems streams ever shifting. And so your constitution model like to the stable Coast; that receives tides always different in power and perseverance, and conforms the flow without either participant diminishing.

 

254

What a change is wrought in 26 weeks. Days even. Why, this very morning had I broken anew and forfeited my humour in a moment drunk with ignorance, to recover again my strength before the sun had set.

Newcastle, 2014

Newcastle, 2014

234: Little plane in the sky

Wherefore are you going, little plain in the sky?
What yonder doth thy ambition reside?

O man, that cannot things let lie,
And no brims passing before cloud delights.

Those hoping souls thy vessel confined,
What grief or love is put behind?

Towards great change perhaps some ye climb,
How braved uncertainty with must ride.

Mayst thou all the skies good-will imbibe,
And with none but peace thy journey collide.

littleplaneintheskydannyjamesblog

143: Edge of ability

Some runaway thoughts noted, upon reflection of a fine day Coaching. Or as I like to see it, facilitating realisation.

To that end, a Coaches role in the process I believe, is to become progressively dispensable.

School can not equip the Coach of all things with which he/she can use to prepare athletes. It’s the beginning. Further to this, there is a time for theory/calculation/science, and a time for practice/action/art. Know the appropriate blend for the individual and situation.

I would always advocate going as far as you can, evidentially and experientially informed, before applying any speculative knowledge or informed intuition.

Coach dials the environment.

Minimum effective dose.

Economy of words. Simplify the message, not the goal. Communicate context.

When assessing ‘readiness’ using bio-feedback, I find the greater value in looking for trends over time, as opposed to banking on daily changes.

Adapt. The best Coaches I know, are adaptable and integrative.  With knowledge, ways of knowing, application etc.

To have ‘forgotten more stuff than most people learn,’ to my mind is profound in its simplicity and precision of fact, when it comes to continued professional development, at least in this field. I think that if we can say this of ourselves after so much given to mastering the craft, and having discarded much of what we’ve painstakingly acquired over many years, through obsessive distillation, it’s really the best we can hope for.

I am immensely grateful for the reminder of the fairer side of human nature that I am fortunate to witness, that emerges from the stress of such betterment endeavours. To wilfully undergo the very necessary contribution of regimented discomfort to attain a desired training effect, requires humility. A healthy value opinion of self-improvement. Choice. These are typically high worth individuals.

They can usually do the least,  who want to work the most, or the hardest. The trick is to temper this enthusiasm. Without being discouraging, but realistic.

That, which repressed in the day-to-day of living, finds often the outlet hour of need, in the session, – long-term programming benefits aside. Employ always best practice first,  and where possible have fun. Take your work seriously, but never take yourself too seriously.

To be expanded upon.

 

133: Fly my pretties

”Thou dost occupy the rightful air for this private news; a sole utterance, that shall never after again have liberty, as with all my confessions that stand ready for the first tedium light through lips, to leap at the vista of thy sunset presence. How they would fly to thee with pretty autonomy, that twist and writhe in my pent. Like all my better qualities that finding need of thee go directly, obtaining tonic in thy inheritance and no other.”

”What news then is this, that grant’st thou one mention, and about my skies no less for its only flight?”

”I came not long ago upon an intersection, of great significance.”

”I know it well.”

”Better than any. I had then but two choices; both terribly contrary in exposure and comeuppance, and thusly would impact my life with vastly differing quality and measures of experience; one way against Nature, the other in accord. After many years on the former path with outwardly reward and success assured, but no delirium love; no deep and satisfying urgency, and certainly no influence of benefit upon the wider civic, and so I found myself perennially clamouring, and miserable, going but halfway in every endeavour, accomplishing nothing. In secret hoping of a havoc would erase the way and any bond I had to it forgotten, that would I at once be free and absolved. This was ill counsel I am aware now.”

”I believe thee to have been thoroughly out of thy mind, but when finally thy good heart consulted. It was the appropriate discretion. Men often don’t think themselves into happier states. The heart doth know the direction, the mind is to best the obstacles there.”

”Truth. There was to be no grand disappointment when I did walk away from all manner of compromise my heart could not risk itself to. It is true, thou canst not have confidence of arriving uninjured of any venture, but know that by Nature, all that happens must.
It was with nervous mirth I begun the present way, whereupon thy friendship gave, as well many pleasing unknowns and unforeseeable difficulties, with barely resource or payment but for the process: a satisfaction simply in the conduct of good and meaningful work that warms like the first rays of morning sun; knowing certainly there is no pointlessness attached to the tenure, though from the outcomes shadow have I removed myself.
These outlooks do cultivate an enjoyment and calculated haste for ones work, and dawns so a luxuriousness of imperatives the old order lacked, and nothing reflecting the shined shortage it profusely gave that draws men to their destruction. They think me mad, for slaying cold my future supposed, and displaying withal the look of unfettered relief, like to one who thinks he has rescued it.”

”But what fresh report dost thou eagerly bring, I would eagerly hear?”

”I’ll tell you, by some depraved humour the fates have now sought to insert a diversion, and with patience will I learn the root of the matter. Though I have far and happily taken this road, I have not yet come so far as to be obscured of the first, as well the capital it yields in the end, which heap the greater the farther I drift. Verily, the mind has at times stolen curious glances backward, pondering what awaits me there I did not go. It cannot be avoided. But to the mark, it has come to me now an offer thence, to return that way I shun and accept a position enviable and uppermost as can be achieved with what qualified talents I possess within the realms of that trade I abandoned.”

”Sir, art thou divided again?”

”Not a scratch! I cannot e’en acknowledge a brush. Providence perhaps that I can still looking back perceive it for every transparency it strains to hide, and it is but clearer now than a cloudless day, I cannot go to it. I would have it is fruition of all my previous efforts come too late; a final check of my resolve to live proper, it seems. Untutored would I happily have yore received that I am not the least by tempted anymore.

”All my gladness, smiles on you.”

It is a radiant light yet upon a wasteland, thy reassuring. For yet a chasm retains, that knowing thee of my newfound fortune of days, it feels like quite forever will lapse before thou wilt arrive again to the ending we had entertained, though but a moment passes in the present discourse. Wilt thou confirm false conjuring true? Methinks it a heavy task to wear merely my friendship, yet thou dost carry it so easily I would assume thou art holding none at all. If were my reason not by invention’s reign impaired I might instead behold in thine eye at this, a distant point of agitation flickering in the open cosmos thither. Then break at once ties, if it be so; that I esteem thee better than thou wouldst be esteemed. It is commonplace for all I do not want, to want me so.

 

 

129

There is no way knowing as the sun retreats, if it is perhaps for you the last of days. Withdraw but a moment as the daylight dims, to dwell upon your change, and how equipped you have become to contribute better; if it be fortunes good grace your eyes open tomorrow.

Coogee, Australia 2012

Coogee, Australia 2012

122

Commonly after a spell abroad, I return to find the usual irritations of home have in my absence been polished to the plenitude of their quality, proving me thus a man of poor judgement. The greater share of dust is always laid over the intellect.